Arch City Recruiting

After reading my last item on this site my wife reminded me that she runs her own business seven days per week, takes care of the house, cooks the meals, serves on just about every board and committee in our small town, is recovering our couch, and still has time to read several books per month. Now I really feel guilty. I selected a book from our library the next day; a western novel, just a warm-up for the heavy stuff to come.
I have thought a lot lately about my wife’s influence on me over the years. She is an amazing person and the lessons I learn from her are regular and profound. If I allow myself to be open to her unique way of teaching me, I learn something almost daily. For example, she has helped me learn that interviewing is best suited to the workplace and is not particularly effective in personal relationships, when quizzing her about her latest creative idea for her business or when getting to know our sons’ girlfriends. I admit I do tend to have one conversational style for all occasions. I do like the structure of the interview and I like structured, formal feedback. Speaking of feedback, it’s a shame that my wife is not open to the feedback process I learned while working all those years in the corporate world. I think I could really help her with some of her development needs. By the way, we don’t use the terms feedback or development needs in our house any more; another lesson learned.
My wife is probably the most genuinely friendly person I know. I love to watch her build rapport and friendships with the perfect strangers who come into her business. In her own way, and perhaps without realizing it, I think she has taught me to be friendlier and less formal with the candidates that I interview. With her influence I have learned to give them time to settle into the interview, build rapport at their own pace, and allow them to ask questions about me and my background. It really does make for a much richer conversation when you enable people to be themselves and allow them to see you as a person. It takes a little more time but it certainly pays dividends.

One of my goals is to have a relationship with each candidate by the end of the interview. If I keep that in mind and let it guide me in the conversation, the person will trust me, open up more, and share a broader range of experiences, strengths, development needs and emotions. This is not a trick.I genuinely care about who they are and what they have to say.I don’t want to just fill a job; I want there to be a perfect fit. I can do a better job of facilitating that win-win situation for the candidate and client if I get to know the candidate personally. My wife has helped me learn how to do that, and other things, without saying a word to me about it directly; a skill my father also possessed.I don’t mind learning from family members as long as their teaching process is subtle. My wife would tell you I don’t take instruction well. I think I have just discovered the secret to our successful relationship; she doesn’t tell me what to do and I don’t give her feedback.